Community Builders
Tari and William French
By Karin Evans
Tari and Bill French have always loved the idea of community. And Bill, says
Tari, has always been very good at getting people together and organizing groups. “With Tari’s help,” interjects Bill. “I couldn’t have done it without her.” You couldn’t ask for a better pair of people to cultivate neighborhood groups and a sense of belonging for Ashby Village members.
As the two visit in their Berkeley living room, Bill sits in front of a baseball mitt mounted on a pedestal, a reminder of his days as a pitcher for the University of Washington and semi pro teams. He’s originally from Wisconsin, but long ago he planted his permanent roots in Berkeley, he says—“With Tari.”
They’ve lived in their current home for 25 years, and Tari was born in the house behind it. For 30 years, they lived half a block away, raising their four children. In all, Tari has lived in the same neighborhood for 75 years, Bill for 55. “You can walk to all the places we’ve lived without crossing the street,” says Bill. With family close by, Tari and Bill French feel very much at home in their Thousand Oaks neighborhood. “You can see we’re restless souls,” Bill adds with a sly chuckle.
They’ve attended the same church, Epworth Methodist, for 55 years. When Bill retired early from his job after working for 35 years as an engineer at Chevron, he put his energies into getting people together and organizing activities at their church.
“Lots of talents I don’t have,” says Bill, “but I can organize.” He served on committees, organized more committees, and ran group meetings. Tari, a retired occupational therapist, was right there with him. Whenever there was a meeting, says Tari, Bill almost always suggested that people take a couple of minutes at the beginning so everyone could say what was going on in their lives. “You get to know each other’s feelings,” says Bill. “It makes it all go better,” says Tari.
When Bill and Tari heard about Ashby Village, from their friend Bob Davis, there couldn’t have been a more perfect organization to satisfy their desire to stay where they are and help others to do the same.
“Bob asked us to a living room chat at his home,” says Bill. “I got all excited about what I heard. Ashby Village embodied a lot of what I was trying to do at Epworth. We joined in the first group of 60 people.” Since then Bill and Tari have been committed, faithful, and enthusiastic members, contributing time as well as financial support as Sustaining Members. “They feel like our pillars,” says Andy Gaines.
What interested Bill most, and still does, is Community with a capital C—how to cultivate it and keep it going, especially as people get older.
Early on, he met with Betty Webster and the discussion revolved around how to build that sense of belonging among Ashby Village members. They decided to start some neighborhood groups. Of course, Bill volunteered. He started the Thousand Oaks neighborhood group, The Hamlet, which has grown into one of Ashby Village’s most active groups. As members expressed their desires for various activities, the group put things in place. There’s now a knitting and handworks group, a movie matinee group, a group that gets together to do puzzles, and a Mac users group, where Ashby Village volunteer Mark Goldman helps everyone with IPhones, IPads, and concepts like the ICloud.
“We like to eat,” Bill adds, and that led to the Lunch Bunch, which resulted in an offshoot—the occasional Happy Hour meeting, and gatherings at the local pub. “I’ve even found myself going to teas,” says Bill with a laugh. “I was an engineer! Engineers don’t go to teas!”
Not everyone goes to everything, of course, but a critical mass of participants seems to show up for each activity or outing. Even people from outside the neighborhood occasionally join in. Bill and Tari themselves make it to around four events each month. Some people in the group attend more, some less.
“If you are involved with the neighborhood group, and you can be involved as little or as much as you want, there is no reason ever to be bored or lonely,” says Tari. People who are isolated can find friendship. One woman, says Bill, hadn’t had any guests to her home since her husband had died. But then she volunteered her house for a neighborhood meeting, and that broke the ice.
Today Ashby Village has seven neighborhood groups and the Thousand Oaks Hamlet is the most active. Bill serves on the Neighborhood Groups Council. With Bill’s help, Ashby Village classes—one, a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Training led by the Frenchs' son Jim, the other a Tai Chi class—have been held at Epworth Church.
After suffering a stroke five years ago, Bill decided to ease off some of his duties at Epworth. But, he’s not a man who is easily sidelined. “Life can be exciting,” says Bill. “Even at this age!”
“Many people are much happier aging in place,” says Bill. “Ashby Village can help people stay put. It’s a great seed that can spread. The potential is so powerful. Andy and the staff do such a great job.
“It’s a pretty unusual village for a number of reasons,” Bill goes on. “Not just the interesting backgrounds of so many people and the adventures that pour out when people start talking about their lives, but Ashby Village seems ahead of the curve in the conscious goal of creating community.
“The way things are going these days, we seniors have to be ready to do things for ourselves,” he adds. “It’s all about how you move through this fascinating period of life.” For Bill and Tari, the best way to enjoy these years is within the Ashby Village community. Tari singles out MedPals as one of the programs she values most, although so far, with family around, they haven’t yet used that or other services.
I asked Bill and Tari what they were up to in the coming week.
“Well,” Tari said, “I’m going to the knitting group on Monday.”
“The Mac Users Group meets here on Tuesday,” said Bill.
And they were both looking forward to an upcoming Ashby Village presentation that had been arranged for the people at their church.
“We believe in Ashby Village,” said Bill with a warm smile. “Yes we do,” said Tari, with equal enthusiasm.
Tari and Bill having fun at a recent
Ashby Village Volunteer Appreciation event